Saturday, 23 April 2011

Saha made me do it


Hello, and welcome to this special edition of my blog, inspired by the harassment of someone called Saha.

I would like to start by apologising for not having posted in so long. I've just been really busy having a life of my own that doesn't revolve around writing a blog for an audience of about 10 people. But that can change.

Also, if you have any ideas, feedback or general complaints and insults about this blog, please leave a comment. And if you don't please leave a comment anyway, so it looks like I have friends. Now it's going to be really embarrassing if no one does. I bet no one does.

So recently, I've been making myself an identity crisis. I haven't had one before, and I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment, so I thought it might be a nice time to try. I've basically been questioning the number of opinions that are actually my own, not just enforced by other people.

The first thing to question was this.
After calculating the amount of time I spend each day worshipping and devoting myself to Gaby which turned out between 0 and 1 second/s, I came to the conclusion that this opinion may have in fact been bestowed on me by someone else. Maybe it wasn't even me who wrote that on my hand.

Then I pondered the reason why I liked David Cameron, even though I'm more left wing. I came to the conclusion that it was his insanely cool forehead. I have now decided to disown this opinion, as I refuse to have my political values totally influenced by a small stretch of skin. Okay, it's not small. It's massive.

After more consideration, I have decided that Ed Westwick is not attractive, merely a gorgeous jaw glued onto a lump of slightly-better-than-mediocre-ness, Matt Smith is a wonderful doctor, tomatoes are far too disgusting to be a real fruit, whatever people say, and Justin Bieber is definitely male. Regardless of whether his songs are good (please don't think I'm saying they are), he is quite obviously a boy. If you genuinely can't tell what his gender is, I suggest you keep away from tranny bars - you may end up passing out from the overwhelming confusion.

Another thing is this blog - if Gaby made me do it, then surely I didn't want to in the first place. And if I'm sticking to my own opinions, I should therefore not want this blog to exist. So I am going to delete it and never post again.

Actually, then I'd have typed this whole entry for nothing. So I guess I have to keep the blog.

Screw this blog. And screw you. Screw you all.

3 comments:

  1. you make me laugh too much :)
    I COMMENTED WHICH MAKES YOU SPECIAL
    no one has ever commented on mine.
    secondly, YOU DEFINETLY SPEND MORE TIME OBSESSING ABOUT ME.
    dont try and deny that it was actually you who wrote this on your hand and there was no peer pressure winvolved in the creation of this blog i merely told you once, maybe twice, maybe three times, to make a blog and that is all. lots of love,
    your biggest fan
    xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi!
    I think you should do a blog entry about oxford-and how awesome it is to be able to ride bikes everywhere. or maybe about cornish pasties...hmmm...pastyful thoughts.
    also btw, you page clearly states that you have 5 followers, so are you counting everyone twice? or do you just assume that we all read it twice???
    see you soon.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Gaby,
    Of course I obsess about you, you seem to have cropped up in almost every post on this blog, not forgetting the name.
    Although I didn't write that on my hand - my handwriting's nice.

    Dear Imogen,
    I am now also thinking your pastyful thoughts.
    While I only have 5 followers, I am something of an optimist and like to think there might be 5 people out there who don't have an account with which to follow me. For example Saha who has been harassing me and had better have read this blog post...

    ReplyDelete