Hello everyone, and sorry for not having posted in so long.
Just kidding, I'm not sorry at all. I don't care a bit.
Anyway, I am going to post about my wonderful holiday in Malaysia! (Well, it was technically Borneo but we stayed in Sabah, the Malaysian bit.)
I'm going to skip the horrendously dull details of typical tourist attractions and 25 hours of traveling and cut straight to the important part- food and racist mocking of different cultures.
Firstly food. To sum it up, noodles are good. But
we had to drink something with our noodles, so we had... Pearl tea!
This is basically sweet tea with chewy bubbles in it.
They taste good.
A common Malaysian dessert is ice kacang. It is essentially ice shavings squeezed into a ball with a sweet syrup called gula melaka. It is sold on the streets. Unfortunately, we did not find a street seller and the hotel we stayed at offered a slight variation. They were not allowed to squeeze the ice into a ball, as it was apparently unhygienic, and gula melaka is apparently produced under dirty conditions, so that had to go too. I also did not get to choose my 'condiments', some woman poured everything into my bowl for me. This included rose syrup, bits of noodle, sweetcorn and beans.
Also, Malaysia seems to have a billion signs telling you what you can't do. These included no haggling, no durians, no spitting and no dish washing in the toilet.
We flew out of Sabah to spend our last day and a half in Malaysia's capital, Kuala Lumpur. These are the Twin Towers which should really be called the Siamese Twin Towers seeing as they're joined by a bridge.
Oh, you can only see one. Fine.
We celebrated our first night in KL with a big bowl of curry noodles (I hate curry, but it's better than fish so I made do) at the food court in a huge shopping centre conveniently built right on top of my mum's old school. It was quite hard getting there however, as the name is apparently quite hard to pronounce. Our conversation with the hotel receptionist went something like this:
"There is good food at Pear Village."
"I said Pear Villain."
"The Pear Villa..."
"Um, Pear Velour?"
Well, it turns out it's actually called the Pavilion.
And, that's probably all you'll be able to endure. Congratulations for having made it this far.
Just kidding, you don't deserve any kind of praise. In fact, your mum is so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.*
*Joke courtesy of Saha Habib. Suggestion of using joke courtesy of Izzy Goodman.