Thursday, 20 January 2011

Health!


In the past, a lot of people have told me that they like fruit more than sweets, chocolate, cake and whatever crap people like to eat.

Why?

WHY?

Health. Of course it's health. It's always health.

It bores me to tears, the way people pretend to enjoy fruit and salad more than cake, and go to the gym to be healthy. (Please note, it does not literally bore me to tears. No tears.) I like the occasional banana, but that doesn't mean I will only eat bananas and tomatoes for the rest of my life. This is partly because tomatoes are disgusting. Another nice idea is real sport. Because it's FUN. Not gyms. No one has fun at the gym. I have seen people on running machines before, and they never seem to look like they're having fun. They look more like they want to shoot themselves.


A few years ago, I heard about an experiment in which students are asked to remember a 7-digit number and recite it in their head, whilst walking down a corridor. They are then randomly offered some fruit and some cake. These people asked for cake, because they like cake and are too busy to be pretentious. Then people were sent down the corridor with no number in their heads. They asked for fruit. Bastards. So it clearly takes some effort to remember your false 'healthy' opinions.

So, play some sport! Enjoy it! And eat what you want! That is, unless you are as fat as your mum. She's so fat, elephants ride on her. Goodbye.

Picture: Google images. Not sure if I actually need to credit them but I don't want to get sued, so...

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